My Last Post of 2016

I thought that last post will be the last one in this year, but i feel like i gotta say something more. I think we should have a normal chat, like  friends or family. Human to human. I’ll try not to say the same things as i said in previous article, although i think i need to mention couple of things again and kind of.. explain. Maybe i’ll even delete it, i don’t know.. I want to be completely honest in here so.. here wo go.

This year has been one of the most mentally challenged years, probably even the most mentally challenged year so far. I’ve had moments when i felt like biggest fool, stupidest person on the planet, complete joke..   I’ve lost couple of friends, i’ve LITERARY lost respect to 80% of people i knew. I really don’t want 2017 to be as shit, as this year was. I feel like a lot of people are saying that 2016 was the worst year. I don’t know what happened, but everyone is like.. totally down. I wish next year will be better for me, for all of you. Everyone deserves it.

Let’s talk about some good things that happened, because we need to take at least little bit of positivity into this

So, this year i made an Instagram profile. And since 5th of March, i’ve reached around 60 followers. Just to let you know, i don’t know 95% of people that follows me. And i feel like i’ve grown as artist so much this year. I had huge motivation for drawing and being good artist and i still have. I’ve talked about a big change coming up next year. I’m doing admissions tests for an Art School. In Wednesday i’ll see how much i’ve grown as an artist.. (My Instagram profile is @PatsyArts, please check me out 🙂 )

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I know this sounds funny to someone with milions of followers, but i really, really appreciate those 60 or 65 followers i have today. Every number up is happy moment for me, every double-tap is heart-warming.. And if someone from those 60 people is reading this post now, Thank you, you’re awesome ❤

Another highlight of this year is win of Stanley Cup for my favourite NHL team, Pittsburgh Penguins. Celebrations were great, happiness was incredibly big, and feel that i had a chance to watch that match live on TV is amazing.

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And if i think about this.. that’s about it. These are all the things i can think of. And if i compare this year to 2015, which was the best year for me so far.. it’s been a shitty year.

Now let’s talk about some of the bad things. Just some, i promise.

One of the toughest things was ending my *cough* “sport carreer” *cough* I’ve played floorball for four years i believe, and i had to stop playing because of my health problems. I literary cried for days, because i couldn’t play anymore. But now when i think of it, at least i had more time for my art.

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Another thing that hit me super hard was death of gradma’s dog, Sara. To be completely honest, i’m still not 100% over it, every time i go outside to play with grandma’s new dog, i feel like something’s missing on the garden. Sara was 13 when she died and 24th of December, she would have 14.

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Some things happened in Summer, which i’m not gonna talk about here. Just that.. something happened in my personal life, that you guys don’t know about, that really, really affected my year, my mind. I’m still not.. mentally over it, but next year, i will.

Next year CANNOT be worse than this one. It just can’t.

I also feel like i haven’t been honest with people, and even here on this blog. Every one always saw me as the happy one that just cannot deal with anxiety, cannot deal with depression, has to be always happy and I HAVE to be the one who will make other people feel better, the one who will listen to everybody while they talking about their problems.

That’s even a reason why you haven’t seen a single photo of me, because i felt insecure about myself, because i felt like people are going to be judgemental.. Over the year i’ve learned how “not to care about others” and that was one of the biggest lessons i’ve learned. You’ll definitely see more photos next year, i promise you will.

I hope you have an amazing day, enjoy new year’s celebrations and see you next year. 🙂

Biggest hugs, Patsy

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